Nothing about cleansing ever really feels exciting. "At the end of the day I am going to have to sacrifice a whole lot of stuff for some kind of future return that I don't really believe in yet. And I feel like all my favorite stuff is being taken away from me " and so the internal dialogue goes.
That's not made any easier by the current heat wave and this general feeling of lethargy permeating all of Sydney. Add to that trying to get to sleep without an air conditioner and we have a lethal combination.
The biggest missing in the first couple of days is the good old cup of coffee. I think I would speak for the vast majority of cleansers who say "just give me my coffee GRRRR !!" - something about the coffee ritual and the so called coffee kick start is what we so crave.
And then there are the addictions. They are the painful letting goes. Most commonly they are cigarettes, alcohol, and sugar (in all its guises) and most often all three at once. That takes something and for the cleansers who are giving it a true go, they will be in a world of pain.
I am fortunate that the only addiction (of which I am aware) is the old morning cup of coffee.
It is a daily ritual and something I will often drive right out of my way to satisfy. Luigi's in Bondi is my absolute favourite and I have been known to drive there from Coogee just to get a my dose of flat white.
I am not really counting but this is probably my 20th cleanse in the past few years. I usually do the 10 days but once did 29. I know that the first 4 days are tough and then everything starts to go woosh but right now there are no wooshes.
I am irritable, grumpy, a little headachey, slightly vacant and also feeling lots of sadness. I recently farewelled someone that I love deeply so maybe all the "pushing it down" is not so easy now. Who knows ?
What I do know is that letting go of anything takes something and it is so incredibly freeing to know that you can let go. There is an incredible feeling in knowing, or at least glimpsing that you are whole and complete and do need anything to make you okay or make it okay.
You do NOT need the coffee, the cigarette, the glass of wine, the lolly or the person.
That does not mean you turn into a selfish git or an Island of self assurance. What it means is that you can start looking beyond your own selfish needs and be more cognisant of the needs of others.I used to love Simon and Garfunkel as an adolescent and I remember the words of one of their songs "I am a rock, I am an Island, and a rock feels no shame (Pain?) and an island never cries" - so aptly put.
So what the cleanse teaches you is not to be some stoic I have got it handled and all sorted type.
Instead it teaches you that in being self contained you have the strength to open up.
And then there is the physiological benefits, the simple experience of putting goodness into your body, of truly treating it like a temple for 10 days and experiencing its profound response. Your body is your temple. never forget that. When the headaches go away and the bowels have settled you will feel a new sense of energy, a glow, an ease and you might even drop a couple of unwanted Kilograms.
So that's all that there is to look forward to but today, right now, I am still feeling the last of that headache, that little bit of grumpiness, and the sadness that I mentioned. I know that this to shall pass even if i have to drown in an Adzuki Bean Stew
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Onwards and Upwards
Mike
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